Will You Have Something to Drink?

Willie's wife Wilma is the official brewmaster of the pub, and on occasion she does allow me to play the assistant for her. We've both got some history individually in brewing up something tasty, but I must admit that she's got a delicate touch I haven't yet acquired.

The menu for The Jolly Pecker generally just says 'wine' or 'ale', for simplicity's sake, but there is a variety of drinks available to order. I've tried them all from time to time; let me tell you about them.

Wines

Firewine - full-bodied ruby wine with flavors of bramble, blackberry, and cherries

Glowglass - phosphorescent green wine, a light and sweet mushroom-based concoction 

Bloodwine - a deep burgundy in color, bold taste with a copper note

Blerry - light and refreshing white wine, tasting of cherries and slightly bubbly

If you order a wine without specifying, you'll get the house favorite, Firewine. It's an elven wine, so it's been aged at least a century or longer, and they claim it's aged in barrels made from entire tree-trunks, or some similar sort of nonsense. My preference, though is for the Glowglass - not surprising, I suppose, since it's a gnomish wine. It's also one of my contributions to the line-up. If you want something stronger, and you have the coin for it, opt for the Bloodwine, our 'fine wine'. And for something refreshing, try the Blerry. Personally, I think that one's a better dessert wine than something to drink with dinner.

Ales

Fungus Ale - hearty brown ale brewed from mushrooms, sour and chunky with a licorice flavor

Hearth's Brew - spiced Fungus Ale and honey (served hot)

Dwarven Hammer - a hearty stout, thick barley taste with notes of oak (on the rocks)

Pickaxe - a pint of Dwarven Hammer, hot, with a teabag steeping in it (served hot)

Ciderella - a hard apple cider sweetened with honey

Gog's Grog - an amber rum, thinned out, with cinnamon and lemon 

Honey Pine Dew - small mug of halfling mead, smells like a hearthfire, tastes of honey (served hot)

Lily in a Well - half-mug of Honey Pine Dew, with an edible flower garnish (on the rocks)

Eye of the Beholder - fermented goat's milk with half a hardboiled egg floating in it

If you just let the wenches pick for you, the house ale is going to be the Fungus Ale, one that Wilma and I have created together. You can get it as-is, or hot and sweetened as Hearth's Brew. 

But if you want something heartier, go for the Dwarven Hammer. It's a good thick drink, served on the rocks - literally, served with pieces of stone in the mug that have been chilled, so it's a cool one. If you'd rather have it warm, we'll steep some tea in there. We used to call that one a Pointy-Eared Dwarf - tea for the elf, stout for the dwarf, you see - but then changed it to the Pickaxe, because the other's a hammer. Yep, we're hilarious around here.

For something lighter, pick the Ciderella or Gog's Grog - you can't really go wrong with apple cider or grog. Or go for the Honey Pine Dew. It's a small drink, but very comforting, especially in cold weather - drink it slowly. If you'd rather have it cold, ask for a Lily in the Well; the flower in it tastes as pretty as it looks. 

I'm not sure why we have the Eye of the Beholder; seems like every time someone orders that one, we end up with a brawl happening. Probably speaks more to the type of person that would order such a drink than to the drink itself.

Shots

Sweet Roll - an amber rum with cinnamon and sugar

Goodberry Gin - made from goodberries, with a harsh burn

Squid Ink - black thick liquid that coats your throat - calms coughing, but makes the eyes water

Goat's Piss - a yellow drink, not actually piss... probably

Goblin Spit - Last night's spillings from the bar wiped down into a jar, infused with mint

Willie's Special Rum - complex hearty flavors of chocolate and burnt grain with a hint of citrus (by invitation only) 

And the type to start a brawl are also the type to take some shots, so we've got a few of those available. The Sweet Roll's good for finishing off a meal, but the rest are mostly just to punish yourself. The Goodberry Gin is said to heal the damage it does as you drink it - the buzz from it fades away pretty quickly, and it won't give you a hangover if you stick to just that one. If you mix your liquors, though, some say the Squid Ink will coat your stomach and keep you from getting sick. I don't know why you'd order a Goat's Piss or a Goblin Spit, but folk do, often enough that Willie has 'em available.

Now Willie's Special Rum, though... You can only try that one if Willie takes a liking to you and offers it. Now that's a special drink, and not even Wilma knows quite how he makes it. It lives in a special jug under the bar, and if you see that jug come out, you need to have some respect for it and hope for an invitation to try it.

Non-Alcoholic Drinks

Well Water - infused with mint

Hot Tea - a relaxing herbal tea from various local plants

Fruit Tea - the Hot Tea, but served on the rocks with some fruit muddled in

Goat's Milk 

And then we have a few drinks available for the occasional child or tee-totaller coming through that doesn't want to drink in a drinking establishment. Even then, Wilma makes sure everything has that extra touch of special. The water's got some mint in it, the hot tea's from plants out of her kitchen garden and a few that Fluzie gathers when she's out hunting, and the fruit tea has whatever fruit we have available muddled into it. Nothing special about the goat milk, though, nasty stuff.

So pick your favorite and wave down a wench. My throat's a bit dry from all the telling; how about you buy me a round in thanks?

more Dabblers stories by Jayzachari