Heaven's Hands

The touch of his hands send fire

Through and through me,

And my body screams for the pain of pleasure

‘Till my heart stops, and I forget to breathe

Because of the currents shooting up

And down my body in waves of

Pain, pleasure, excitement, and ecstasy.

We'll Never Be (excerpt)

We’re just too different, you and I.

Or maybe we’re just too alike.

I love you with all my heart,

But the end is inevitably coming.

We will be friends, I think, I hope.

We get along so well together.

But can I bear not to

Hold your hand, kiss your lips, taste your sweet breath?

I love you, and you love me,

But you and I may never be

The kind of lovers in my dreams.

We’ll just be friends, it really seems.

(July 9, 1990)

Racing Colors

Colors racing through the sky at sunrise,

Chasing each other from horizon to horizon,

Racing to meet across the sky.

But before they can meet,

The sun comes up

Through the ocean, into the sky.

It halts the race of colors,

Banishing them away,

To come back tomorrow

Racing through the sky.

(written pre-1990)

The Lockbox - Part Two

Content Labels: Abduction

She woke slowly. The first thing she registered was her thirst, then a weak light. It was dark in the box, but she could see light coming in around the edges of the door. Daytime, then. Her chest hurt, and so did her neck. She struggled to roll over; it hurt, especially on her hips and shoulders. They were stiff from laying there for however long it had been. Thank goodness for the blanket, even it was scratchy and smelled like motor oil. If not for that, the rest of her would be a chilled and numb as her poor bare feet. She looked around, hoping to spot her shoes. There wasn’t much to see – it was an empty box. Empty except for her and the blanket.

The Lockbox - Part One

Content Labels: Abduction

Ben waved his transponder button in the direction of the parking monitor; a green light flashed at him, and the gate lifted as an empty box was brought to the closest loading zone. Like many other people that lived at the edge of the city, there wasn’t enough room for him to park his truck at his apartment. He could pay for a space underground at his apartment, but those spaces cost almost as much as the apartment itself. For a fraction of the cost, he could park in a carbox complex just a couple of blocks away. Stacks upon stacks of boxes, each holding a vehicle. The automation that brought you an empty box, and carried away the full one with your vehicle, was pretty impressive, but he really didn’t give it a second thought anymore. He put the car in gear and started to roll it into the box.

How to Blow an Ice-Cream Cone

Because sometimes you need to practice. And sometimes it’s just fun to torture the guy watching you eat the ice-cream cone.

Poem - Rubi

Sometimes I can feel Rubi trying to get out, get hurt. I’ll notice a twitch, a thump. My fingers can’t keep still. Thumping my fist on my thigh, beating in time to… what? Feels good, the pounding. Must keep her in, down, away. If she comes out, I’ll hurt her/she’ll hurt me/we. No sense of self-preservation. Fascination… shiny blade, sparkling fire, destruction. Hurt me, hurt them, what does it matter? Put down the lighter, Rubi. Finding holes burnt into clothes, ash from paper, soot on my fingers. Turn on the music; she likes to sing. Turn it up loud, loud as it’ll go. So loud the windows buzz. Sing along, yell to be heard. Rubi sings, I sing. Can’t hear myself singing, it’s just loud. Music has a beat, beat on my leg, beat my fingers on the steering column. The hurt feels good, pain travels up my arm and locks Rubi in, feeds her. She needs the pain, the music, the beat.

Be Ready

Content Labels: Child Sexual Assault, Explicit Sexual Content, Incest

When Paul came to be inside my head, he brought with him a single memory. It wasn't a pleasant one, but writing it out helped him to deal with it.

Sam And Daddy

Content Labels: Incest, Explicit Sexual Content, Violence

Sam tried to repress a giggle as she turned the key over again. It should not be this hard to unlock a door… and it should not be funny, either! But she was pleasantly boozed up, and so it was funny. Three times she flipped the key over before it finally fit into the lock. Quietly opening the door, she snuck inside, pulling the door closed behind her. She used both hands to move the deadbolt into place. If she forgot to lock it, her parents would probably figure out that she’d come home way too late. And if they found out she was drunk, too, well…. Her Mom wasn’t exactly okay with the idea of underage drinking. There had been a few conversations recently about responsibility and illegal and whatever. Better if Sam just went quietly to her room without having to deal with her parents.

Kink Me - 8 - Soothe Me

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM, Nudity

It's been a long day, and all I want to do is collapse on my bed until supper is ready. Even carrying my purse in from the car seems like a burden. I hate feeling this way. I trudge through the grass to my front door, struggling to get the key in the lock - because everything is a struggle right now. Opening the door, I toss the keys in my purse, knowing I'll regret doing so later when I have to fish them out. I shut the door behind me, drop the purse beside it, and walk into the living room. It's dark, and the cool atmosphere soothes my spirit a bit. I nod at my boyfriend as I pass through, headed to my bedroom.

Kink Me - 7 - Soak Me

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM, Nudity, Blood

I unlock my front door, feeling vulnerable, and leave it just a bit open, flooding early-morning sunlight into the living room. I head for the bathroom, bare feet padding comfortably on the carpet. Doffing my robe, I turn on the water, shivering as I wait for it to warm up, then stepping in when I start seeing steam rise. I quickly wash my hair, sighing with pleasure as the hot water soothes me. I listen for any sounds from the living room, but if they exist, the noise of the shower covers them up, even with the bathroom door cracked open.

Kink Me - 6 - Prey Upon Me

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM, Nudity

I knock on the door, and stand there, trembling. I have the urge to run back to the car that drove me here, before it can reach the end of the drive. But I remember hearing the locks click as soon as I exited, and knowing that option was closed to me. It’s not hot outside, but anticipation has brought a light sheen of sweat to my skin, and my thin tee-shirt is clinging to me, outlining my nipples where they poke at the cloth. I carry nothing but a small bag holding a change of clothes – no wallet, no phone, no makeup. None of the baggage that identifies and anchors me to the real world. It’s just me, simple, unadorned.

Kink Me - 5 - Cut Me

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM, Nudity, Blood

Your eyes demand mine from across the room, and you call me to you with a crooked finger. I softly pad, barefoot, across the floor, aware of people looking at me, wearing nothing more than a thong and a long shirt that barely covers me. It’s chilly, and my body shows it – my nipples are peaked, and goosebumps cover my arms. When I reach you, you silently move me where you want me to stand. You tenderly, passionately kiss me, holding my arms down at my side, and heat fills me up, making me pliable and eager to please.

Cattle Maid

Content Labels: Mythical Creatures, Blood

They call us cattle. It’s not meant to be insulting. It’s just a statement of fact. They feed off us, and they rely on us for their very life. So is it not a declaration of their need for us, to call us cattle? Of course, most cattle aren’t aware of their status. Perhaps I’m the only one. The only one that willingly submits herself to the cold touch of a hungry immortal seeking that which will preserve his life.

Kink Me - 4 - Separate Me

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM

She stood with feet planted wide, insolent and bold as he loomed over her. She could feel the warmth radiating off his dark skin reaching for her, threatening her. Her breath came quickly as he reached out and lifted her chin, bringing her wide green eyes to meet his shadowed brown ones. Ever so gently, he said, "You'll learn your place, girl. I'll break you if I have to."

Kink Me - 2 - Shower Me

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM, Nudity

Standing in front of the shower, she reaches a hand in to test the temperature. It’s scalding hot, just how she likes it. She is shaking, but it is not cold in the room. She trembles, knowing that he will soon be here, and the hot water soon will not be the only thing to warm her.

Poem - Impact

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM

Impact. The slap of leather on flesh, a grunt, quick indrawn breath.

Impact. Skin stings, flesh contracts, muscles pull.

Impact. Involuntary jerk, hands pulling, legs pushing.

Impact. Move away, can't get out of reach, no escape.

Impact. Sight blurs, sounds indistinct, only feeling.

Impact. Heat rises, conscious thought fades, body quivers.

Impact. Impact. Impact. Impact.

Kink Me - 1 - Mark Me

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM, Dubious Consent

I kneel before my Master in the chilly room, my bare body hidden from the inquiring glances of the others by only the barest scrap of shadow. Glimpses of leather and chain and cold concrete fill the field of my vision, but my glance is locked on the blue eyes that look down upon me. The whistling bite of something stinging and slapping teases at the edge of my hearing, but I am not listening to it. The murmur of conversation near the door and the creak of chains overhead compete for my attention. But it is my Master’s voice I listen to, tuning out all else. He speaks softly, as smoothly as water rippling over sand. “Good girl. Kneel there, and do as I say. Only as I say. You’ll do anything I tell you to, won’t you?”

More To Consider - 8 - Watch What I Can Do

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM, Explicit Sexual Content, Nudity

When sanity returned, Lexie and Ian both lay panting on the bed. He had released the hooks on her cuffs and collar, though she still wore the accessories. He was trailing his fingertip around her neck where the collar rested, lightly tracing where it lay. Lexie moaned sleepily and moved to curl up against him. One strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her tight, and they lay curled up like that for a while, dozing. Finally, Ian stretched prodigiously and smacked Lexie on the rump. "I'm hungry, woman. Go make us some supper."

Lexie stretched herself, but didn't make any movement to get up quickly. Ian waited a moment, then shoved her off the bed. She let out a short scream as she fell, then got up and turned on him, laughing. "See if I fix you anything good! I'll burn yours, you beast."

Ian stood to match her, then reached out and threaded his finger through the ring in her collar. He used it to pull her close for a kiss, and she melted into him as she did every time they kissed. "Bet you won't. Besides, you still wear my collar - you're mine to order. And what I'm ordering is some supper." Another kiss, and Lexie was headed for the kitchen before her head was even clear, a sultry smile on her face.

More To Consider - 7 - Make Yourself Ready

Content Labels: Kink & BDSM, Nudity, Explicit Sexual Content

Monday and Tuesday were torture for Lexie. She struggled through the days trying to concentrate on a conversation, a task at work, a phone call. Tuesday night, she and Kayla went out for dinner after work, and of course Kayla wasted no time teasing her. "Lexie, I don't know what this guy's done to you… and I don't think I want to," she said, holding up a hand. "But you've been like a zombie all week. You're no fun. You've got to either get rid of him or get used to him. When's your next date?" she asked.

"Um, we haven't really set one," answered Alexandra. "The subject didn't come up."

"Because something else 'came up' first, right?" Kayla laughed. "Fine, fine, I can see that you're going to be no fun for a while. But I'll wait it out. So tell me what that call was at when we were leaving work?" The girls talked about work for a while, the usual complaining and trying to second-guess their bosses.