It takes a special kind of foolhardiness to walk into a busy tavern and immediately have it in for the mercenaries sitting in the back, over and above anybody else in there. But that's what happened last night. And somehow, it didn't end in a fight. Because, of course, that's what you'd expect.
Anyway, the Jolly Pecker has a contract with the Diamond Talon Fellows, a mercenary troop that works these parts. I get the sense that One-Eyed Willie had some prior dealings with the DTF some years back. But either way, when their fellas come through, they get a meal and a bed without paying for them. And a few times a year, one of their officers comes through and settles up. Which means we have a couple of mercenaries in the tavern most any time you stop through.
Well, last night we had a couple of them sitting at a table over near the stairs. Couple of fellas, brothers, named Click and Klack. I'm assuming those are nicknames they've picked up, but I don't know; maybe their momma's got a weird sense of humor. But these two is brothers. They grew up together, they joined the Diamond Talon Fellows together, and now they fight and travel together.
The fellas were just sitting there, listening to Pip making some song, talking to each other and relaxing, when in comes this dwarf. Yes, that dwarf, the one in the special group of adventurers. I looked in the back, and sure enough, all the local boys were back there gambling, just like they always are when the special ones show up.
But the dwarf stumbles in the door, looking at his hand like the doorstone had shocked him or something, and practically stumbles into the first barstool like he was already drunk or something. This one's name is Alberch - don't ask me how I know it; I don't remember him introducing himself, but I know his name, so surely he had to've, right?
But Alberch climbs up on the first barstool, and locks eyes on Click & Klack sitting at a table over by the stairs. Looks mad about 'em. All I can figure is that he's had a run-in with the Diamond Talon Fellows before, or maybe even these two in particular. The dwarf orders his meal, and the whole time he's eating, he's just staring at the two mercenaries like he's imagining taking them apart a piece at a time. They glance over once or twice, but don't seem to really pay him any mind, though.
And then this other one, a rock gnome, starts nattering at me. They give their name as BB8, and I can't figure out whether they's a boy or girl, and don't have a chance to get a question in to ask, before their mouth is running nonstop. And then they spot Alberch over there and decide to get friendly with him. I don't think Alberch was looking for a little companion, but he sure got one all of a sudden. Sounded like the two of them decided to buddy up starting the next day for some travel, but now there's two of 'em glaring at the mercs, until they're interrupted by some lady up on Pip's stage announcing that she's going to Juniper and looking to put together a party.
So here's the thing. If there's anybody at The Jolly Pecker you don't want to get on the bad side of, it's the staff. They are, collectively and individually, more dangerous than you'd ever imagine. But past the staff - and I'm including myself in there, this night - the next people you don't want to rile up are the mercs sitting by themselves in the back. These guys literally fight for a living. So when the dwarf and the gnome get up, I've caught Willie's eye, and we're watching pretty closely. Happily, they were heading over to talk to the lady, but about the same time, the mercs decided to step outside for some air or something, or maybe talk to Peter and check on their horses.
I'm not saying it was deliberate - but I'm not saying it weren't, either... But about the time Click and Klack passed behind Alberch and his friend, the dwarf somehow tripped, knocking into a table, which tipped over, spilling leftover food and drink from the dirty table onto Klack. Probably splattered a little onto Click, too.
I thought that was it. Here goes a brawl. And I swallowed what was left in my mug so I could use it for the other purpose without wasting any drink. But somehow, it didn't happen. The three fighting men all glared at each other, mumbled some kind of perfunctory apology, and then they moved on. Me and Willie, who had already come 'round the bar, went back to our usual business. The mercs made it out the door, and the other two went over to talk to the lady.
I thought that was it, but I found out something else from this morning. Click and Klack were late leaving for their next engagement. And that's because when they got to packing up their equipment, there were... issues. The leather came off Click's sword-hilt, and it looked like it'd been cut. Same with Klack's shield; the straps were cut half-through. Good thing they caught it; sommat like that could get them killed if they'd come apart during a battle. So the pair had to stay near to lunch making repairs on the gear, rather than heading out just after breakfast.
I hope that's the end of that story, and the two mercenaries don't ever meet up with Alberch or BB8 again sometime. At least if they do, it shouldn't be happening at The Jolly Pecker. I mean, what's the odds of that?
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