Have another drink; the evening's just beginning. You know, books showing up that weren't there before aren't the only strange thing happening around here. I think there's whole rooms showing up sometimes that weren't here before, too. And it has something to do with those adventurers I mentioned before, the ones that I feel like I know 'em, but it's their first time coming by.
There's around five or six of them, give or take. It's hard to keep track, because something in my head just goes sideways when I try to remember. It's like being completely sober and trying to remember the promises you made when you were drunk, you know? I'll see if I can't point them out if they come in, as the night goes on.
Well let me tell you a story about one of them, also a gnome. Now, he's a rock gnome, and I'm a deep gnome, so I don't exactly feel any kinship for him, but it's hard not to notice fellow small-folk coming into the inn; we're just not that common. But he comes in here, all by himself, one night, and settles in. The same evening, several more of the ones I've been watching are also here. They always seem to show up on the same evenings, each one coming in alone, but in the morning they all head out as a company, going monster-hunting in Juniper.
So this one comes in, peering about in a shady manner, and sits down to watch Pip performing. Now, he doesn't seem to enjoy the music or anything. He's not singing along or clapping; he's just staring at the stage.
Of course, what he doesn't notice is that the staff's already watching him. When he first came in, Peter, out in the stables, saw him try to sneak a coin purse off a patron outside. However, the man was leaving after spending all his money, so he got nothing. With no harm actually done, Peter just magicked a quick Message off to Willie, letting him know about the potential for some bad behavior. And Willie told me, so I could tell one of the wenches, and so on as the word was passed.
Troublemakers generally find the Jolly Pecker isn't a great atmosphere for them, but every now and then you have to prove it to them. And it's usually the ones without much experience, because they haven't learned how to read the room. This one was the same - got more greed than brains.
Well, when he'd been sitting a song or two, he started easing up toward the stage. He reached out for Pip's pet Pop, offering the weasel some crumbs from some road rations trying to get close enough. I do believe he was just trying to pet the furball, but that furball eats better than a lot of peasants. Now, if he'd been offering peanuts, well, he'd have had a best friend right away. I don't know if he was just gonna pet the weasel, or if he was planning to do him harm so he could get to Pip's tip-jar, but Pop wasn't interested in those crumbs, and when the stranger tried to pet him, he took offense and nipped the fella's finger. And that's when some bad decisions were made. This roguish fellow pulled out a dagger and stabbed that little furball, nice and neat.
So what most folks don't realize about Pop is that he's not just a pet. That furball is Pip's familiar. When a familiar gets killed, they don't leave behind a body; they just make a 'pop' sound and wink out of existence. Now, bards don't typically have familiars. But bards do get around, and they learn a little bit of this and that. And one of the things Pip has picked up is the magic for calling familiars.
The other thing Pip has picked up... is a spell called Magic Missile. Well, if he casts that latter spell as powerful as he's able, that sends seven tiny balls of fire straight at their target - and none of them ever miss. Looking over to see his familiar stabbed and suddenly gone, that's exactly what Pip did, and the stranger regretted his action awfully quickly.
To tell the truth, I was surprised to see him standing at all. He was bleeding out his ears and nose both, his face had been crushed in a bit, his dagger was bent, and there was smoke coming off him, but he didn't quite fall. Instead, he slashed out at Pip, catching him on the ankle. And then he did, finally, do the smartest thing he could do at that point, and he ran for the door - okay, he stumbled for the door as fast as he could go, holding onto his ribs.
I jumped off my barstool, without spilling the ale in my tankard, ready to join in the fight. I could see Doxie gearing up her spooky blasts, getting ready to let fly at him, but he made it out the door before she could pop off. One-eyed Willie was reaching for his axe and bellowing for Peter to stop him. But it was one of the patrons that actually ran out and tackled him on the porch. One of the other adventurers I've been watching; the one that tried to take my tankard. Or another dwarf that's his exact twin. This dwarf tackled the smoking gnome and dragged him back in the door, immediately surrendering him to Willie.
Well, only the staff really knows what happened from there, but they took him upstairs to lock him into one of the guest rooms. This is important - I distinctly remember them dragging him up the stairs, because it was obvious he was hurting so badly he couldn't have climbed them by himself. And in the morning, Willie carried him down with one hand and asked the other adventurers to take custody of him, see that he got down the road toward Juniper with them.
So let me ask you, friend. Why did they lock that rogue up in a room upstairs, when there's a couple of very solid storerooms without windows under the stairs? Rooms that I feel sure weren't there when they dragged him up there? Willie and Wilma say those rooms have been there since the tavern opened, but there was a day not long ago when we moved a bunch of supplies into the storerooms for keeping, and those shelves were empty that morning. And there's a very solid lock on the storeroom doors that only locks from the outside.
And here's another riddle. That dwarf that tried to take my tankard, and that dwarf that tackled the rogue - I am certain they are the same dwarf. They had the same armor, the same axe, the same beads in their beards. Yet, if that dwarf walks in tonight and sits down on a barstool, like I have a feeling he will... Willie isn't going to know who he is, and will greet him like any other stranger. More, the dwarf won't recognize me, or Willie, or even that gnome he tackled, if he likewise comes in this evening. And in the morning, the pair of 'em will head out with the same group of adventurers, off to hunt a beast in Juniper.
Boggles the mind, don't it?
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